Sean Delevan

10 more years of litigation....For what?

2012-01-26T09:04:00.000-05:00

As many of my friends, parental advocates, and family members are aware, I recently stopped blogging, making videos, and revealing personal information about my case. I also withdrew a custody/visitation petition that was being heard in Queens Family Court. The withdrawal of this petition, as well as my virtual silence on the internet was done in a last ditch effort to end all matters in family court and simply try and move forward with my life.

There was also the promise by my ex that she would increase my contact with my children. Of course this was yet another lie, but I dropped the petition anyway, as well as removed the internet postings.

You would think at some point, that my ex and her husband would simply say "Enough, let's move on with our lives".

In reality, they have gotten everything that they could have asked for. There are steady finances coming in for the children as a result of my disability. They have full custody of my children. They have been assured that I will agree to an additional $50,000 over time in back child support arrears, as well as stop any current petitions from being heard or filed in Queens Family Court.

That would be it. Case closed. Everyone move on with their life and I will deal with the crumbs that I am left over with; 1 hour a week visitation, disability payments, and a couple of phone calls during the week with my children.

Much of my family and friends knew that this has never been about money, being responsible, or what is in the best interest of the children. It is simply nothing more than a way to control and inflict punishment on me.

So here we are yet again, 11 years after getting divorced and fighting through the court system, the settlement offer was totally ignored. There was not a phone call, a conversation, or even a mention or expression of a willingness to consider the agreement.

There was simply silence, as always.

That is of course until the day of court when a NEW custody petition was going to be heard.

My ex decided that during that proceeding, it would be a good time to mention the settlement, as opposed to agreeing to it beforehand.

Sorry, we have bee down this road before. The endless delays, gimmicks, and stalling tactics will not be tolerated this time. Any reasonable person would have read the first paragraph of the settlement agreement where it CLEARLY said that ALL petitions would be dropped, upon an agreement, and would have stated that they were willing to comply BEFORE we were in a court hearing.

So, as expected, with no acknowledgment of an agreement, all cases go full steam forward.

The $50,000.00 that was offered as a settlement, will now go to a high priced lawyer, as opposed to my children.

Simply because a parent who received everything they wanted, just could not let go.

What s shame.

But there is still 3 weeks before the hearing. Who knows, maybe God will speak to my ex and tell her:

Stop the insanity already, what more do you want?

Allright, God has better things to do. Maybe that was my voice speaking.

The point is, there is still time. I have the ability to pull or drop ANY petition by simply writing a letter and giving it to the court clerk.

But hey, I would not hold my breathe on the voice of reason suddenly shining through...

Fairness4Fathers.tk

Corrupt Lawyers, Corrupt Process, or Both?....Sean Delevan

2011-12-07T12:10:00.003-05:00

I have often blogged and advocated against corruption that is rampant within the family courts. When taking a closer look at what actually transpires inside the walls of family court buildings worldwide, I have to consider who is ultimately responsible.

This leads me to the question of whether the family court process corrupts the lawyers, or the lawyers corrupt the process. Then again, is it both, or is it possible that it is neither?

This question depends upon how you view and perceive things. In the Parental Alienation classes that I teach to both children and adults, I often give an example of how different people will view the same situation.

For example: At the scene of a bad car crash that possibly involved fatalities, how you process the scene will almost certainly depend upon what your profession or personal beliefs are.

If you are a priest, you may be looking to administer last rites if necessary.

If you are a police officer, you are looking to see what safety issues are currently present and what actions need to be taken.

If you are a teenager, you amy be marveling at the destruction (Ok that is my sick teenage years coming out)

If you are a detective, you will be looking to see if there is criminal activity and if there are surveillance cameras present to gather evidence.

If you are an injury lawyer, you amy see an opportunity to obtain a client.

And lastly, if you are a parent, you are praying that no children were hurt or killed.

It is a very simple and powerful point that can be applied to almsot any situation. People see things differently, depending on their values, profession, and beliefs. Because I am not a big fan of family court, I cannot simply dismiss this logic.

It is important to note that all lawyers are not the same. at least in my experience anyway. I have dealt with many lawyers in my life.

When I was a derelict to society, I often needed and depended on good legal representation to maintain my freedom in the criminal court system.

When I became injured, I had to seek legal representation to ensure that I received the benefits that I paid into (SSI, SSD).

And of course, when I entered the family court process, I needed to obtain legal representation.

In all three circumstances, things that truly mattered and would greatly affect my life were in the hands of lawyers. Unless I am mistaken, these lawyers all had to study, take, and pass the saem bar exam to get their law degree.

But yet, the horror stories that I heard from so many parents from all over the world, were always involving lawyers, judges, law guardians, and Magistrates from the family court process. My personal experience also validated many of the stories that I heard.

So many parents simply could not grasp how such atrocities and perversions of justice were allowed to continue. Making matters even worse was the fact that every avenue of relief (Appellate, Judicial Review, Bar Association) would not only ignore what was transpiring, they would actually be complicit in concealing the abuses.

Make no mistakes, I have met lawyers who practice in the family court system who are good people. They have worked hard, have strong morals, and openly acknowledge that the family court process is not made to benefit the family.

But their admissions are usually limited to personal conversations and they will never fully challenge the corruption that is taking place. Those who were stupid enough to try were blackballed, fined, disbarred, and starved for work.

This brings us back to the question of whether it is the family court lawyers that are the source of dysfunction and corruption, or if it is the process. This is a question that will never be answered fully.

Like many of our politicians and governmental bureaucracies, the laws and rules that society must pay by do not apply to themselves. There is never a fingerprint left on the crimes scene of family court that points to one individual.

No one, and everyone, is responsible for the destruction, cronyism, and blatant corruption that takes place. The most common example of this is the triangulation method that is used to strip a parent of a child. This method is so common and widely abused, that it has literally become standard operating procedure.

It goes like this:

A parent goes before the court because they are being denied or have no access to their child because of the non-custodial parent
The judge assigns a law guardian
The law guardian asks for a forensic evaluation and to suspend or ask for supervised visits
The forensic evaluation recommends limit contact with the other parent
The judge makes a ruling based upon the law guardians recommendation, which is based upon the forensic evaluator, whom bases some of their evaluation upon the opinion of the law guardian, as well as the parent who is engaging in the abusive behavior to begin with.

And there you go. Who is responsible?

The judge says I based my decision upon the forensic and the law guardian.

The law guardian says they based their opinion on the forensic.

The forensic says they simply based their decision on what they witnessed and heard from 3 to 6 1 hour visits as well as the opinions of the law guardian.

So what was supposed to be a simple process to re-instate your rights, has actually become nothing more than a totally legal and well-oiled money making machine. Everyone that was listed in this process has been generating revenue as a result of your misery.

The law guardian would not receive revenue if she was not handed a case from the Judge or Magistrate.

The forensic evaluator would not receive revenue if it was not for the referral from the Judge or Magistrate.

The lawyers representing both parents would not be guaranteed to collect massive revenues if the process was streamlined and did not get delayed for 2-5 years while the evaluation process occurs.

And in the end, after all the money is counted, and the ruling is handed down, everyone who had a role in the destruction of the family involved can simply say: " I only acted upon what I had before me".

In the meantime, the parents have been put through hell, their lives are upended and hanging onto the false pretense that they will find relief in the next court hearing, and no one wins.

That is except the lawyers and court professionals.

So again, where does the problem lie?

Is it the lawyers who knowingly allow this to happen and profit from it, or is it the process itself?

I can say without hesitation that there is no other setting where lawyers run rampant and engage in conduct like they do in the family court system. While there may be some bad lawyers in the worker compensation and criminal court system, I have had nothing but either decent or extraordinary experiences with them.

Maybe it was simply because I was use to so much abuse and corruption from being in family court for 11+ years.

Or perhaps it was simply because they worked and practiced in a a system that actually follows laws, rights, and ethics.

Either way, I have seen good lawyers who really want to make a change within the family court, eventually concede that their hands are tied. I have even met with and worked with family court lawyers who openly admitted that if they pushed too hard on the system, the system would push back 100 times harder.

So do I believe that there is an answer to where the problem lies?

If I walk into a store with my sanity and well being intact, and come out dysfunctional, emotionally distraught, and financially devastated, I may think twice about entering that store again.

If thousands, if not millions, have also walked into that store normal and have come out in a similar state that I did, perhaps it is the store that is the problem, and not the worker behind the counter.

In short, stay the hell out of the store.

That goes for good lawyers, parents, and everyone alike.

Sean Delevan

ps:

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Parental Alienation and Addiction...by Sean Delevan

2011-12-06T13:07:00.001-05:00

I have written many posts concerning some of the common forms of child abuse that are seen when a parent engages in Parental Alienation. Like substance and alcohol abuse (which I disclose I have personal history with), the person that is affected from PAS is suffering from a psychological and mental disorder. They have lost the ability to reason and think rationally and have created a reality that is based upon imaginary threats and delusional thinking.

In short, they are literally displaying many of the signs of an addict.

An addict will do whatever is necessary to ensure that they get another fix, or another drink. The person engaging in Parental Alienation is no different. They are willing to lie, harm, manipulate, slander, and attack anyone or anything that might risk exposing their actions. Unfortunately, this includes waging war upon their own children's feelings of love for the non-custodial parent.

In a previous post, I listed some of the common characteristics and behaviors that are common forms of abuse that a parent who is suffering from PAS will engage in. Their inability to see the harm that they are doing to themselves, to their former spouse, and to their children is simply unbelievable.

Then again, as someone who had a history and first-hand experience with substance abuse, it is rather easy for me to comprehend how a person can become so fixated on a single goal, that they are willing to destroy themselves, their family, and even place their children in harms way.

So how does a parent, who brought forth a child into the world with another parent, begin to develop the thoughts and beliefs that it is acceptable to lie, abuse, and engage in behaviors that not only do great harm to everyone in their life, including their children, but to themselves as well?

I have long argued that when a parent enters and engages in the Family Court process, that they are immediately bombarded with advice from lawyers and family court professionals that encourage them to violate their morals, standards, and ethical beliefs. There is nothing that is off limits in this process. Instead of addressing an issue based upon personal beliefs, the individual is simply told that "you may lose your child" or "you may be harmed" if you do not do this or that.

Any hesitation or second thoughts by the individual will be negated by the assurances that they will not be held responsible for their actions; even if they are blatantly fraudulent and baseless claims. What quickly begins to develop with the individual is that they separate themselves from the actions that they are committing.

They simply justify their actions through the use of rationalizations and false premises such as:

My attorney advised me
I have to protect my family
I will do anything to ensure the safety of my child
He/She may do the very same thing to me

What is lost in all of this is the fact that the individual is sacrificing and eliminating all their personal and moral beliefs. The lawyer that is advising the person to lie, manipulate, and deceive is simply doing what they have been asked to do; win the case.

The moral responsibility is not waived because someone assures you that you can violate everything you believe in to win a case. That is similar to the devil stating that it is ok to engage in sin, because God will not catch it. The decision to bring harm upon another individual, as well as your own children, is ultimately on that individual.

It cannot be blamed upon the court, it cannot be blamed upon the lawyer, and it cannot be explained away by further deceptions and lies. I can almost see the devil laughing at such a ridiculous explanation.

What do you mean I repeatedly engaged in sin...(individual)

You repeatedly lied....(Devil)

But I did what I had to do to win.... (individual)

But you knowingly hurt your former spouse, when they were not a threat.... (Devil)

But my lawyer told me it was ok... (individual)

But the lawyer works for me....ha ha ha ....(devil)

But they told me it was ok, I din't know....(individual)

But you knew you were lying, you knew you were turning your back on what God believes in, you did it over, and over, and over again.....(Devil)

But he, But She, But the courts, But the lawyer, But, But, But,...(individual)

So, that is problem number 1. We teach our children that it is not ok to lie, to hurt others, to cheat, to steal, to go against what God teaches us, but somehow this does nto apply to your ex spouse?

Do you not see how stupid of an argument and reasoning that is?

But the lawyer told..... But the courts......

Yeah, Yeah, we heard that already.....

The problem with Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), is that it is just like addiction. The addict will see and live for nothing but the drug or the drink. They lose all capacity to see the destruction that is a direct result of their addictions.

While society often frowns upon addicts as simply being "weak minded" or "defective", the truth of the matter is that they have lost their capacity and ability to determine what is right and wrong. They have lost touch with their higher power, their spirituality, and their values.

The addict cannot see or acknowledge that they are hurting others. They simply need and want more substances to function.

With the addict, the conversation with the devil is exactly the same. The only difference is that the individual has sold their soul for the next hit or drink.

The second major problem or "enabler" of PAS, is the unwillingness of family, community, neighbors, and society to not step forward and simply say:

Hey, what you are doing is wrong
You are harming your children, while proclaiming to have morals and values
You are deliberately lying and harming your ex, while proclaiming you are at one with God
You are either a liar or a hypocrite, or both...
Why do you not seek to unify, instead of destroy?
Why are you seeking to harm, instead of to heal?
Do you think that you will not be accountable because a lawyer told you it was ok?
What will your children think when they find out everything you have done?
Could you possibly stand before your savior and even begin to justify your actions?

Until an individual realizes that they have sacrificed and disregarded everything that they claim to value, they will never find the peace and harmony that all humans long for. What they are likely to experience instead is anxiety, fear, regret, apprehension, guilt, and a host of negative emotions.

There cannot be any true emotional and spiritual happiness within an individual when their life and actions are revolved around scheming and planning on how to harm another individual. Even families and people who have suffered a family member being killed have often come to a point where they have to forgive the killer.

Even they realize, there is no inner peace, when their is hatred or a need for revenge.

Parental Alienation is so similar to drug addiction that it needs to be addressed. It is very easy to stick your head and in the sand and say:

We best not get involved
There must be more to the story
They are doing what they have to do to get ahead
Yeah, we know that our neighbor, family member, friend, is lying and harming another individual, as well as their children, but it is none of our business.

There are aften complaints heard about rising gang numbers, and societal decline. A person does not need to look much further than a typical family court situation where the whole family unit is utterly decimated because they have been convinced that selling out their beliefs and morals is acceptable by a lawyer.

And while the family is in ruins, the devil is preparing a special seat for his buddy who has done such a great job in rounding up some more recruits...

That special someone....

You guessed it..

The Family Court Lawyer who is counting his hard earned money that was earned by encouraging you to bring harm, hurt, and suffering on all those around you

Sean Delevan

ps:

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Family Court, The Police State, and 9/11.....Sean Delevan

2011-12-06T09:59:00.001-05:00

Americans all over the Country are beginning to see that they are at risk of losing much of their freedoms and liberties. Some have blamed these restrictions upon Obama, while others have blamed them upon Bush. The truth of the matter is that there has been a long documented and traceable desire for many within both parts of the Republican and Democratic establishment to circumvent and bypass the Constitution, Bill of Rights, and freedoms that were commonly associated with the American way of life.

After the attacks on 9/11, the stage was set for the implementation and removal of personal and civil liberties on a massive scale. The implementation of Homeland Security, FEMA, and the Patriot Act were all meant to "protect" Americans from the boogey man who is waiting everywhere to attack us.

Lost in all of this was the fact that there was a catastrophic breakdown of security measures on almost every possible front that would have ensured that these attacks would have never been able to take place. Many of the conspiracy theories and arguments that state the attacks on 9/11 were intentionally allowed to occur or even planned are based upon the fact that so many inconsistencies and protocol breaches took place with agencies whose primary purpose was to keep us safe.

As a result, agencies failed to do their jobs, and Americans were rewarded with losing their rights and freedoms. From that point forward, the escalation of the Police State has seen a rapid and unprecedented increase in size and implementation. Whether or not you believe the attacks on 9/11 were an inside job or simply a convenient excuse to strip Americans of their rights, there can be no arguing that life today is much different than it was before the attacks.

Prior and after the attacks of 9/11, I became embroiled in the family court system. Like many people before me, I had no idea what I was in store for when I sought to stop the violations and parental rights interference that was being waged upon me by my former spouse. I was certain that anyone with half a brain would be able to immediately see what was transpiring and put an end to it. If my word was not good enough, surely the voice and position of my children would put to rest any lingering doubt about what was taking place. Instead, I feel so deep into the rabbit hole that I thought that I was surely living in a parallel universe.

I soon became exposed to an environment where false arrests, slander, false accusations, parental alienation, visitation denials, and communications with my children being interfered with were openly rewarded by the court system. As the evidence begin to mount of what was transpiring, I fell into the trap that I would be able to "prove" or "expose" how corrupt the system was. like many parents before me, I had no idea of what I was up against.

I also made the critical mistake of believing that being honest and believing that the truth would ultimately be revealed if I just did not give up. When it became evident that not only were family court officials willing to ignore what was transpiring, but also actively helped to conceal evidence, information, and possible abuse, I would eventually crack.

The icing on the cake was when I was purposely informed by the Magistrate, Law Guardian, Attorney for my Ex, and the court clerk, to return to court on the incorrect day in order to shield an individual who admitted to sexual misconduct with children. No fewer than 3 times did I question as to whether or not the Magistrate was stating the incorrect return date of the trial I was involved in.

If it were not for a friend within the court, I would have missed the court date and allowed the individual to never have to set foot on the stand. Having been informed to appear in court by an anonymous source, it was no surprise when low and behold, the individual, the attorney, the law guardian, and the court clerk came out and called my case.

It turned out that when I was trying to inform the courts for years that there might be abuse taking place, either currently, or in the past history involving this particular party, that the courts were aware of it all along. Instead of addressing the issues that my gut knew all along, the courts chose to protect and shield this person from all scrutiny. Going as far as deliberately telling me to miss the court date that they were scheduled to testify on.

It was right then and there that I knew that I would never make any progress in this filthy system. When 4 different levels of professionals from within the judicial system are willing to conceal and protect someone who has engaged in disgusting and horrific actions with children under the age of 6, there was nothing that was off limits.

What baffled me beyond compare was how this system became so corrupted from the top down, and no one would report it or even speak openly about it. If this was happening to me, could it be happening elsewhere as well? To my utter horror, I began to receive calls from all over the United States, as well as New Zealand, Australia, Japan, and a host of other countries that all reported the saem thing; The corruption is rampant and it is very possible that there is a bigger picture here.

I spent years protesting, advocating, and educating myself of what was taking place in the lives of parents all over the world. It was evident that there was a systematic effort to destroy the family. There could be not other explanation of how so many people were having their children literally stolen from them and placed in abusive and harmful environments.

AND TO THINK, IT WAS BEING DONE BY THE VERY COURTS THAT WERE SUPPOSEDLY SET UP TO PROTECT THE CHILDREN AND FAMILIES.

I began to research and compile case law and stories of parents who wee affected and harmed by wither the courts, ACS, CPS, or Foster Care agencies from all across the United States. I pleaded with politicians, friends, and family members to pay attention to what was happening. Very often, if i was not being totally dismissed as being paranoid, crazy, or delusional, i would hear repeatedly:

Well, there must be more to it
He is obviously upset
There is no way that can happen
How could the system be so corrupt
Maybe you should get a better lawyer
Why would they do that

And so on and so on.

At the same time, the stories, phone calls, e-mails, and messages piled up. The more I looked, the harder it was not to be swallowed up by a black hole of filth, corruption, criminal activity, and cronyism, that is known as the family court process.

But why did no one else care?

How could people not think this was a big deal?

These questions, and many more, ate away at my sanity. Why would so much effort be used to dismiss and ignore the things that I were saying, instead of looking at what right before their eyes? The willingness to be ignorant of the facts and evidence was not just by those in the family court process, but by people in my immediate family.

Well, there must be more to it, they would say.....

Well, here we are today.

Gun sales are going through the roof, people are openly talking about losing their rights, liberties, and freedoms on a daily basis.

Slowly but surely, American citizens are being conditioned to believe that they have to have their genitals felt up by the TSA in order to remain safe.

They are being led to believe that it is ok to leave the border wide open, but at the same time it is ok to be detained without being convicted, let alone tried of a crime.

Americans have just learned that laws have been passed that will allow the military to detain, arrest, and try it's own citizens without the benefit of a lawyer or judicial process.

And what about the guns that were purposely given to the Mexican Cartels in hopes of people being slaughtered in order to ban gun rights? If our Justice Department was willing to allow people to die for the "greater good" of banning weapons sales. how does this fit in with the attacks of 9/11?

Do they have anything in common?

Americans everywhere are beginning to see that they are one step, or one generation away, from being slaves to either a New World Order or a 1 World Government.

How did this happen?

What is the relation to my post about family court?

It is my firm belief that family court has been been the testing ground for the systematic destruction of the family unit, as well as the testing ground on how to destroy the freedoms and rights that made this Country great.

He who sacrifices freedom for Liberty shall have neither, Benajmin Franklin once said

When your children are being stolen, you can be arrested without charge, your savings is being looted, and your own Government is willing to sacrifice your life to push an agenda, is that Freedom?

Do you still think that it is no big deal that my rights, as well as millions of parents across the United States are being violated daily?

Is it still no big deal that children are being made to suffer because of this effort to destabilize and cripple any resistance to the goals and ambitions of our elected leaders whom the people give a 9% approval rating to?

It is a very simple and effective experiment that is currently taking place; destroy the family unit, while leaving the children who are devastated and impressionable subservient to the system.

2 generations at best, and this Country as you know it is finished, if this course is to continue.

As far as me?

This blog will almsot certainly expedite either my imprisonment through the family court system, or by whatever other means at the disposal of this tyrannical system that is in place.

Gotta keep the peasants in order. Lord knows we don't want them waking up rom their coma....

Sean Delevan

ps:

Like what you read?

Think it's horrible?

Have a similar thought or a disagreement?

Please, leave a comment. If it is not vulgar, I will leave it up, regardless if it is not what I believe..

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Parental Alienation Checklist...Sean Delevan

2011-12-04T21:24:00.003-05:00

Having attended and ran parenting workshops that focused on the harms that Parental Alienation has upon children and parents alike, I find myself often contemplating upon how a parent can stoop to such horrific levels of abuse while convincing themselves and the child that they are only engaging in these behaviors "for their own protection".

As we see more and more liberties and freedom taken away from us in todays society, it is very often under the same false pretense of "to keep you safe" or "for your protection" that these actions are allowed to happen.

Amy Baker is a renowned psychologist that has written and dedicated much of her professional career to Parental Alienation and how it is an abusive and destructive behavior. Her workshops and writings often reflect some of the common steps that the abusing parent will force their child to endure. Of course it is only for "their protection" that the child is asked to:

Spy on the non-custodial parent
Keep secrets from the non-custodial parent
Lie to the non-custodial parent
Ignore the boundaries and rules that are set by the non-custodial parent

And so on.....

It is horrific that the child who is being subjected to Parental Alienation has no idea that they are being used and manipulated due to an illness that is coming from the custodial parent. The parents illness becomes the child's illness. The fears that were nonexistent with the child are replaced by a sense of danger and anxiety due to the overbearing and obsessive parent who is encouraging them to:

Call a stepparent their Dad or Mom
Call the Biological parent who is non-custodial by their name
Skip Visits
Report what took place on visits
Record another parent while on a visit

And so forth.....

When the abused child gets older and they develop the critical thinking skills and understanding that they have been encouraged and manipulated to harbor hatred, fear, and anxiety towards a loving and caring parent based upon the feelings and hatred of the custodial parent, it is almost certain to lead to extreme emotional and developmental difficulties.

Quite often, the abusing parent has become so wrapped in their delusional, compulsive, and obsessive behaviors, that they become fixated at validating these behaviors at any cost. If they are stating that they only acted in order to "protect" the child and themselves, they will often go to great lengths to convince themselves, their child, and others that a real danger exists, even if it means acting out and creating the circumstances and danger themselves.

I once heard a saying that was something to the effect of "Give me 4 years to teach a child, and I will be able to mold them into whatever shape that I wish".

To the child that is being "molded" by a parent who is suffering and engaging in Parental Alienation, this is a nightmare of epic proportions that will take years of counseling and coaching to overcome.

When I first became exposed to the list of common Parental Alienation techniques that are used, I was hit with a sense of dread so severe that I was overcome with sadness and grief due to the fact that almost every single one was used to manipulate the mind of one of my boys.

But of course, this was only to "protect" them from all the Love and happiness that they shared with me, as well as to ease the "confusion" that my child supposedly suffered as a result of having me present in their life.

It is very common that when a child loves a non-custodial parent and they are being subjected to Parental Alienation, they are told that they are just "confused" and "unaware" of the dangers that they have to be protected from. Again, more often than not, the dangers are figments of the abusing parents imagination and have no basis in reality or facts.

For those who are not familiar with the Parental Alienation checklist of frequent destructive and abusive behaviors that are often thrust upon a child, I have listed them below. The checklist that is listed comes from Dr. Amy Baker, a leading expert in Parental Alienation.

If you know someone who is engaging in these behaviors, it is important to understand how much of an impact this has upon an impressionable young mind. Children are taught to love, trust, and listen to their parents. It is for this reason that when a child is manipulated and subjected to Parental Alienation that they will almsot certainly suffer as a result.

Sean Delevan

Parental Aliention Situations - Dr. Amy Baker from "I don't Want to Choose"

Situation 1: One parent looks sad, angry, or hurt when you leave to be with the other parent

Situation 2: One parent asks you to spy on the other parent

Situation 3: One of your parents says mean and untrue things about the other parent

Situation 4: One parent allows you to choose whether to spend time with the other parent

Situation 5: One of your parents doesn't want you to have pictures of your other parent

Situation 6: One parent refers to the other parent by first name rather than saying "Mom" or "Dad"

Situation 7: One of your parents suggests to you that you move in with him or her

Situation 8: One of your parents ignores or puts down the rules and authority of your other parent

Situation 9: One of your parents tells you that the other parent is dangerous

Situation 10: A parent calls your stepparent "Mom" or "Dad," and suggests that you do the same

Situation 11: One of your parents tells you that the other parent doesn't love you anymore

Situation 12: One parent interferes with your communication with the other parent

Situation 13: One parent asks you to keep secrets from the other parent

Situation 14: One parent doesn't include the other parent's contact information on your school and athletic information forms

Situation 15: One parent gets annoyed or angry if you pay attention to the other parent

Situation 16: One parent changes your name to exclude the other parent

Situation 17: One parent tells you private and personal things about the other parent

ps - I was going to place a check next to those that have been validated as 100% taking place in my situation, until I realized that I would have to check just about all of them.

Again, there will come a time when a child will develop the critical thinking skills to understand what was truly done to them. If you, or someone you know is engaging in any of these steps, or all of these steps for that matter, it is never too late to stop the insanity.

If not for yourself, do it for your child. Sooner or later, the harm that you have done is going to be exposed. The simple line of "I only did it to protect you", is not going to fly.

Especially when the child's memories, as well as the facts, show a totally different story.

May God give you the strength to face your demons, for it is He who knows what truly motivates and lies within your heart. For you may fool others, but you are fool to think you will fool the Almighty

Sean Delevan

ps:

Like what you read?

Think it's horrible?

Have a similar thought or a disagreement?

Please, leave a comment. If it is not vulgar, I will leave it up, regardless if it is not what I believe..

It's called Freedom of Speech

Enough is Enough....Sean Delevan

2011-11-07T16:57:00.000-05:00

All blogs and postings will be re-instated within the next 10 days.

There simply comes a time when you must say that enough is enough.

We have now reached that time.

Child Support as a Weapon..Sean Delevan

2011-09-04T09:35:00.002-04:00

With the whole Country falling apart, it is downright absurd that the focus is to place people in jail who cannot afford to pay their child support. The argument that "they can apply for a downward modification" is fraudulent at best.This point needs to be fully clarified and understood for what it truly is; bullshit at best.

The 1-3 year downward modification process does nothing to address the immediate issues that these child support orders are causing people. The custodial parent is under the impression that they have won because they have received a high award ruling. They have little comprehension that everyone is going to suffer as a result, especially the children.

This whole system is causing society and families to break down. It is also breeding hate and anger amongst parents and children. This is not who we are.

The family court process removes love, compassion, and empathy from the family unit at lightening speed and replaces it with hatred and anger.

This process causes the parents quickly forget about all the love that they shared prior to entering the divorce process. Lost is all the loving memories and happiness that lead up to the birth and joys of becoming a mom and dad.

So how is the parent or child benefiting when 1 parent is put in jail and has been utterly destroyed both emotionally and financially.

How great of a reward will found in heaven when that parent looks back and sees just how bad they have crushed the joys of parenthood, life, and hope from the other parent through the use of a child as a weapon?

Will there still be joy?

Will there still be a way to justify the course of actions that were chosen?

Save your soul and stop the hate....

Sean Delevan

Family Court - A Lesson in Hopelessness...Sean Delevan

2011-08-23T21:29:00.005-04:00

Family Court – A Lesson in Hopelessness

by Sean Delevan

The uncertainty and pain of being labeled and designated as a “non-custodial” parent can be as painful as being a parent whose child has died. At least in death, there is a definitive process that allows a person to recover from the severe emotional trauma that occurs from losing a family member or loved one.

The family court process is perhaps the cruelest form of torture that can be placed upon a person. A person caught in the web of family court will be forced to relive and suffer the feelings associated with death a thousand times over, while at the same time falsely believing and holding onto hope that they will eventually be re-united with their child.

It is this belief that keeps parents from going totally postal while they are forced to suffer repeatedly. Not wanting to jeopardize their chances of re-unification with their child, the non-custodial parent will subject themselves to years of degrading, abusive, and psychologically damaging sanctions and proceedings in the family court system.

What the parents do not know is that they will never make any progress other than what the family court is intentionally allowing to occur. The parents are led to believe that they are one court hearing closer to meeting all the demands and ransoms that are being imposed by the courts. They have lost all ability to see the writing on the wall that is clearly indicating that they are nothing more than a tool that is being used to generate endless revenue for the system.

There is nothing that transpires in family court that is not planned. No matter what angle or argument is presented before the court, the outcome is already determined. I have seen countless parents convinced that the evidence that they were going to provide or introduce would turn the tide or change the way the story ends. What they failed to realize is that the end has already been determined regardless of what happens. Unless of course, there is bribery involved.

To understand how it is possible to predetermine a family court case no matter what the facts are, it is important to understand that there are always multiple endings to the story. It is similar to a DVD that has multiple or alternate endings. While there are variations to the how the DVD movie ends, it still enables the main context of the story not to be changed.

Another way to understand how easy it is to manipulate and determine the outcome of family court cases is to picture someone telling you that they are going to get you to enter a cubicle whether or not you want to. Of course the cubicles would represent one of the many excuses or reasons to justify the pre-determined family court ending. This ending of course, usually consists of one parent being delegated to visitor status in the lives of their child. Before I digress too far, let’s get back to the cubicle analogy.

Over each cubicle is a word or label that all the actors and actresses in the show are guiding you towards without your knowledge. While the parent believes they are moving forward in their case to be re-united with their child, they are unaware that everyone involved in the process is actually seeking something else. You see, everyone involved in the case, even the parents own attorney, are helpless and unable to change the way the story ends. The parent’s attorney already knows before you ever step into the courtroom how the story is going to end. The attorney may put up the appearance of fighting for you but he will not say or do anything that can jeopardize the final ending.

If they were to try and change the ending that has already been determined, they will not only be banned from any future performances, but they are jeopardizing their law license and even possibly their life. There is zero tolerance for any deviation from the script.

There are so many arguments and reasons to strip a child from a parent in the eyes of family court that it is ridiculous. Sticking with the cubicle analogy though, let’s look at a couple of basic and frequently used tactics. If family court can get you to step into the angry cubicle, then they can justify taking away your rights by saying that you may be a danger to your child. If they can get you to step into the abusive, paranoid, mentally unstable, and dangerous cubicles, they can just as easily achieve their objective as well.

Now anyone who has dealt with the excessive delays and frustrating family court system is already aware how easy it is to allow your emotions to come out during family court proceedings. While the parent is fighting for the child that they love, the family court professionals could not give a crap about the relationship, your finances, or your child. This in itself is enough to get any parent to emotionally react. If you dare to complain about the system, then you have just stepped into the paranoid cubicle. If you become emotional at the fear of losing your child, you have just entered the emotionally unstable cubicle. God forbid you show a hint of anger, you will probably never have access to your child again.

Again, the reality of the situation is that your case was lost long before you stepped into any of the traps or cubicles that family court is trying to push you into. If somehow you manage to keep your cool and remain focused and determined, then the family court officials will simply make something up or will allow the opposition to move forward with a totally bogus allegation. Eventually, after putting up with years and years of this nonsense, the parent usually comes to the realization that there is nothing that they can actually do to change the situation.

It is quite often at this point that either anger or severe emotional instability sets in. The feeling of hopelessness and despair often hits the individual like a wrecking ball. Even if the case is over and the parent walks away, the courts will have a winning argument again. The custodial parent can claim that the other parent never cared; as evidenced by the parent quitting or walking away. If the parent fights back and gets involved in advocacy, then the “bitter” or “paranoid” label can be applied.

When the stakes are so high, it is impossible to tell someone that there is no sense in fighting, when in reality that is the only thing that is probably keeping them from going insane. At the same time, how can any of us who have been victimized by this brutal and cruel system actually let someone believe that they will have a chance of obtaining different results, while knowing they are headed for endless pain and torment?

Family Court, and the family court process, is perhaps the absolute cruelest of systems that has ever been implemented. Each and every day, parents are victimized, children are devastated, and the professionals that make their living destroying the lives of families just go about their business as if there is nothing wrong with their actions.

Then again, when you have a system that not only encourages and grants immunity for these actions, but also financially rewards this conduct, is it any surprise?

Happiness revealed.....Sean D

2011-08-21T10:03:00.000-04:00

Sean Delevan

2011-08-04T20:31:00.000-04:00

Seeing evil firsthand....Brainwashing Checklist....Sean Delevan

2011-07-22T12:59:00.007-04:00

Every now and then you see an article that you feel like it was written specifically for a situation or event in your life that you lived through.

I can almost go line by line in certain areas and say....Yep, Oh my God, Yep, Holy Crap, Yep, Did that one too....

How can there be so many coincidences and events that specifically seem like they were written about my circumstances?

Article - written by Liane Leedom, M.D

Coercive persuasion, mind control and brain washing

Over the last six months we have received many letters from desperate family members asking, “How can I get my ____ away from the psychopathic con artist?” What family members are really asking for is advice on how to overcome the brain washing of a loved one. When answering these kinds of questions, I like to provide some scientific evidence validating my point of view. Unfortunately, a search of the scientific literature, using the terms coercive persuasion, brain washing and mind control, does not reveal much. This week I will share some of what I have come to understand about how one person can assume control over another. Next week I will discuss how to overcome mind control by a psychopath.

Scientific studies are the best way to gain information about psychology. When these are lacking, it is valid to turn to authorities or experts for guidance. When learning from an authority, we must critically evaluate all claims made. From what I have been able to determine, there are two authorities in the United States on the topic of mind control or brain washing. Behavioral scientists also call this coercive persuasion.

The first authority who has taught a great deal on this subject is Steven Alan Hassan. He is a licensed counselor and former member of the Unification Church. He operates the Freedom of Mind Center. According to Hassan, “destructive mind control takes the ‘locus of control’ away from an individual.” He further states there are four basic tactics used to achieve mind control and allow for “an individual’s identity (to) be systematically manipulated and changed.” These four things are remembered with the acronym BITE, and are behavior, information, thoughts and emotions.

Behavior control starts with one person’s regulation of another individual’s physical reality. Our physical reality means the clothes we wear, the food we eat, the amount of sleep we get, how we spend our time and how we spend our money. There are rigid rules and regulations the controlled person is supposed to abide by regarding these.

Over time, this behavior control fosters dependency. The controlled person gets used to not behaving autonomously.

All the authorities I read identify information control as central to mind control.

(OH MY GOD, CAN IT BE ANY MORE OBVIOUS CONCERNING MY KIDS? )

Donna said in her last week’s post, Sociopaths at first don’t act like jerks, in the beginning those wishing to take control use deception to make themselves look good.

They deliberately hold back information and distort important facts. This allows them to get a foot hold in a person’s life.

After the foot hold is established, the controller makes sure to isolate the person from information potentially damaging to the relationship.

Thought control is established as the controller encourages the person to adopt an “us vs. them” mentality. Any attempt by the controlled to criticize or question the controller is punished.

The controller withdraws affection or otherwise induces fear in the person. Faced with this punishment, the controlled uses the defense mechanisms of denial, rationalization, justification or wishful thinking to survive.

Lastly brain washing involves manipulation of emotions. The controller uses tactics that narrow the range of the controlled’s emotional experience. The controlled experiences extremes of emotions, highs and lows that keep him/her off balance.

Nothing controls behavior like guilt and fear. (Note this is true only for people who are not sociopathic.) Controllers are experts at inducing guilt of all sorts. Hassan identifies many types of guilt: identity guilt; family guilt; guilt over past deeds; guilt over present thoughts, feelings and actions. Controllers also subtly induce fear. The controlled fears thinking independently, fears the “outside” world, enemies, leaving or being shunned by the controller. The controlled also fears the controller’s disapproval.

Ultimately the goal of all the emotional manipulation is “phobia indoctrination” or the programming of irrational fears of ever leaving the controller or even questioning the controller’s authority. According to Hassan, “The person under mind control cannot visualize a positive, fulfilled future without (the controller).”

Unfortunately, my next respected authority Dr. Margaret Singer passed away at the age of 82 in 2003. There are several articles by Dr. Singer posted on factnet.org. Lawrence Wollersheim co-founder of factnet.org, is also a former cult member. I highly recommend reading Dr. Singer’s articles. The first is entitled Coercive Mind Control Tactics also details the techniques of brain washing.

The Supreme Court of the United States has adopted some of Dr. Singer’s ideas and has recognized that, “…the weakness resulting from a lack of food, sleep, or medical care can eliminate the will to resist as readily as the fear of a physical blow. Hypnosis, blackmail, fraud, deceit, and isolation are also illustrative methods — but it is unnecessary here to canvas the entire spectrum of nonphysical machinations by which humans coerce each other. It suffices to observe that one can imagine many situations in which nonphysical means of private coercion can subjugate the will of a servant.”

Dr. Singer writes “In such a program the subject is forced to adapt in a series of tiny ‘invisible’ steps. Each tiny step is designed to be sufficiently small so the subjects will not notice the changes in themselves or identify the coercive nature of the processes being used.

The subjects of these tactics do not become aware of the hidden organizational purpose of the coercive psychological program until much later, if ever. These tactics are usually applied in a group setting by well intentioned but deceived ‘friends and allies’ of the victim. This keeps the victim from putting up the ego defenses we normally maintain in known adversarial situations.

“The coercive psychological influence of these programs aim to overcome the individual’s critical thinking abilities and free will — apart from any appeal to informed judgment.

Victims gradually lose their ability to make independent decisions and exercise informed consent. Their critical thinking, defenses, cognitive processes, values, ideas, attitudes, conduct and ability to reason are undermined by a technological process rather than by meaningful free choice, rationality, or the inherent merit or value of the ideas or propositions being presented.”

There are times when trying to influence someone does not constitute mind control. To further clarify what mind control is, Dr. Singer wrote a list of acceptable influence tactics. These are:

• Reflection

• Clarification

• Discussion

• Information Giving

• Directed Questioning

• Creative Expression

• Advisory/Therapeutic

• Commenting on Problem or alternatives

• Suggesting Ideas

• Recommending solutions

• Rational argument (message oriented)

Unacceptable influence tactics which do, indeed, suggest mind control are:

• Selective reward/punishment

• Denigration of self and of critical thinking

• Dissociative states to suppress doubt and critical thinking

• Alternation of harshness/threats and leniency/love

• Control-oriented guilt induction

• Active promotion of dependency

• Debilitation

• Physical restraint/punishment

Those of us who fell into the grip of a sociopath/psychopath recognize these techniques of mind control that are also used by cult leaders. Anyone who would want to exert this kind of power over another person is by definition a sociopath. Sociopathy/psychopathy is a set of personality traits that includes an excessive drive for power and control.

Cult leaders use human nature to gain power over others. It is human nature to respect authority and want to live peacefully in a group. Cult leaders exploit the desire people have to belong to a well-functioning group.

Perpetrators of love fraud also exploit human nature. Most people want to belong to a loving, well-functioning family. Sociopaths begin their relationships promising happiness to their victims. People in love relationships are even more vulnerable to brain washing than people joining cults. The reason is that sex makes people vulnerable. It is no coincidence that many cults use sex to trap people. Pregnancy is also used to trap women psychologically and physically in relationships and in cults.

A non-pathological loving relationship is freeing. In it, a person becomes more fully him/herself. Love enables a person to be self-actualized and his/her best. I will conclude with the motto of factnet.org-Because only You have the right to control Your Mind!

Source - http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=7496487954022913532

Brainwashing......Not your Momma's church..I hope

2011-07-21T19:18:00.002-04:00

Brainwashing of Humans is Easy and Very Effective

Brainwashing is not new. It goes back to the dawn of civilization. Adam and Eve were both brainwashed by the serpent in the Garden of Eden. They succumbed very easily. They believed a lie that conflicted with the truth previously given to them. Such is the nature of humans.

People can come to accept ridiculous policies, practices, and teachings by brainwashing techniques which are so effective that the person denies he has been brainwashed. People who have been brainwashed never know it themselves.

That is why the mental disorder is called brainwashing. Humans are easily taught to believe something that can quickly be proven to be absolutely false. After having been given the truth, the mind of the brainwashed person typically locks up in denial. Brainwashing can extend to groups of people without a limit in size or scope. Millions of people were brainwashed to believe Communism was the best economic system until the fall of the Soviet Union exposed the truth.

Parents of brainwashed children have engaged reprogramming experts in an attempt to rescue their children. This method can work to some extent with children, but rescue becomes extremely difficult when the oppressed is an adult who is protected by law from outside rescuers. The adult can live his entire life without coming to the knowledge that he was brainwashed

SOURCE - http://www.biblelife.org/brainwashing.htm continued…below

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Elizabeth Smart had lost touch with reality while kidnapped and was unable to extract herself from her captor. She not only did not try to escape but gave false information to the police to protect her captor. Her parents carefully began to deprogram Elizabeth after her rescue. She certainly could not free herself mentally or physically.

Her parents were able to help her because she was still a child, and they had full custody. The same is not true for adults who become brainwashed. Courts in the United States hold adults responsible for themselves.

An adult can become hopelessly trapped by brainwashing, but the courts will not give him any outside assistance. This is not to suggest that the courts could help. Members of the court are generally brainwashed themselves.

SOURCE - http://www.biblelife.org/brainwashing.htm continued…below

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The Psychological Trait That Allows Humans To Be So Easily Brainwashed

The ease with which a person becomes brainwashed is not a matter of intelligence or IQ.

A scam artist can seduce Ph. D. professors at about the same rate as garbage collectors. It is more a matter of wisdom, knowing truth from error. Some garbage collectors have a lot of wisdom.

Brainwashing is Done on the Basis of Feelings, Not Logic

The most effective method for brainwashing someone is to appeal to his feelings. Logic is rarely used in brainwashing. The brainwashed individuals must be deprogrammed using logic to prove that the ideas in their minds are in conflict. All of the beliefs of the brainwashed cannot be true. Some must be discarded. Little by little the brainwashing is reversed as the person learns and accepts the truth.

SOURCE - http://www.biblelife.org/brainwashing.htm

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Happiness

2011-07-03T17:17:00.001-04:00